Guest Blogger: Muddy Watters Cider Slam 2010 (Mike B)

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First of all I must say that I’m not a strong runner in speed or distance but I do love the races that Jeff puts together. My friend Scott, a strong runner and creator of this site has gotten me to become addicted to these “mud runs” and he gets me to sign up for them by saying “come on it will be fun, its only like 3 or 4 miles you can do that mike” so I sign up and 5 miles into Scott’s 3.5 mile race I ask myself why do I let him talk me into these silly things, but after the race is over and my heart is back to pumping normal I say “that was a blast when is the next one”

Well the next one just so happened to be the day before Halloween on a beautiful chilly (cold as hell) morning. On the way to the race Robyn (my wife) was telling me to be careful and try not to die, she was worried about the cold and rumors of a possible bridge jump into ice cold water. I said don’t worry I love the cold, that wont bother me at all. Remember that last statement for later.

When we got there we meet our other friend Julie (another victim of Scott’s shenanigans), we were all in costume for the race, since we got points for doing so. Scott as usual went all out and dressed up as Hong Kong phooey dog nose and all. Julie and I went as a tropical paradise, we put on Hawaiian shirts and wore white boxers with dice drawn on them (get it a tropical pair of dice) this was not to be creative but rather to have an easy costume to run in.

So the premise of the race was to run to different check points and do a task to get your passport marked to accumulate points. So you were going for total points and best time. We weren’t going to get a good time sine we decided to run it together and as mentioned before I am not a fast runner. We trusted Scott to be out navigator sine he trains in the park on a weekly basis. So off we go!!!!

80% of the runners went one way and we went the other way, this had me second guessing my trust in Scott as our leader, but then I thought to myself you’re a grown man running in the woods on a 42 degree day dressed in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt following another grown man dressed as a karate chopping dog you have no right to second guess anyone!!!

Ok we get to the first stop, the task, drink a little cider and eat a tinny little doughnut hole, come on Jeff you can come up with something better than that, well he did . Before you get your treat you have to do a trick which was to run up and down 200 stairs. Side note, the week before I went for a walk and my heels started to hurt so after a mile and a half I said we have to turn around and when we got back my heels were blistered and bloody, second side note, NEVER GO FOR A WALK IN CRAPPY SHOES!!!. I tell you this only for sympathy since my heels were not completely better and going down stairs (the easy part) hurt like hell. Anyway we went down and back up only to be asked if that was our first trip and it had to be done twice, you have got to be fu@%$ng kidding me, damn you Scott, not even a mile in and I hate you. So we went back down and decided to go to a few different check points before going back up.

The next one wasn’t bad just had to do a few exercises and off to the next. The next one I think we had to do 30 down ups and I thought that’s a lot but ok , then I was told first you have to run up that huge, steep, leave covered hill and back down first, Damn you Scott or Jeff or whoever, you all suck. Up I go, feet slipping, heels loving me, finally get to the top with Julie and start to go down. Looking at everyone falling and slipping I decided to go down sideways cross stepping so my feet wouldn’t be facing down hill, Julie decided to slide down on her butt. I made it down with just a few falls and Julie made it down but looked like she soiled herself (she had dirt marks streaking down the back of her white boxers) We did our stupid down up’s and ran back to the bottom of the steps.
Up another 200 Fu@%$ng steps to eat our treat. You would think it would be easy to eat a single doughnut hole but not after doing all that I could hardly get it down. You win again Jeff.

We realized that we had to get to the bridge in the next 20 minuets since that stop would close, and we were about 2 miles away. Now I may not be good at running but I am good at math and if I figure it correctly 2 mile in 20 minutes is almost running at a 10 minute mile pace. That’s my fast speed on flat ground, Damn you Hong Kong phooey you got me again. So we ran as fast as I could and Scott pulled away at the end to ensure we would be at the bridge in time. He made it and I got there in time to see him jump off the bridge doing a karate kick in the air. I was able to do it also even though I was technically 1 minute late. So I took off my shirt and Julie pushed me off the bridge, and down I went into the icy waters below.

Now remember when I said “ I love the cold it doesn’t bother me at all” well I was wrong when I hit the water and went 3 feet under IT WAS FREEZING!! When I came up I couldn’t catch my breath for a few seconds, it was like my heart did not want to move, and I thought if I have a heart attack, Robyn is going to be so pissed at me, so I sucked it up swam to the river bank dried off real quick and back to running. I was feeling good the river gave me some energy and the hardest parts of the race were behind us. Just a few more MILES of running up to a store had to buy some candy for the kids run, back to the park, to run up and down a little hill a few more exercises, and had to solve a few riddles. I say thank you to Scott and Julie for running a slower race so we could stay together. As for Scott talking me into doing it , I love and hate you at the same time, I guess that goes for Jeff also. The only think left to say is, that was a blast, when is the next one!?

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